Category: DIRTY DOCTOR #NOTADOCTOR


Do you have a question for Dirty Doctor???

Submit it here!!!


   

Vacuum Dilemma


Hi Doctor,

Why do I squint when I vacuum?

Fryin Pickles

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Hi Fryin,

This seems like a unique situation you have gotten yourself into. If I had to guess I would think you are either vacuuming outside or your house does not have a roof. To solve this problem I would suggest vacuuming at night or buying a roof.

If your currently living situation does not allow either of these solutions I would suggest purchasing the official DCE hat. The hat will act as a mini roof for your face.

xoxo Dirty Doctor #notadoctor


I know what you did last podcast


Hi Doctor,

After listening to DCE #8 it became immediately clear to the DCE conspiracy trackers exactly what you are up to.

Why were large patches of audio edited from the show?

This can be heard at 29:07, 31:45 and 59:01 but especially 29:07.

Internet censorship is the first falling domino. We have connected the dots. We know you are working with the Illuminati and the Globalists. WE STAND AGAINST THIS ONSLAUGHT. EVERY DAY CONNECTING THE DOTS, PEELING BACK THE ONION. WE WILL DIG DEEPER INTO THE STORY WITH THE INSIGHT OF OUR EXPERTS, WHISTLEBLOWERS AND INSIDERS. WE ARE SEEKING THE TRUTH AND EXPOSING THE SCIENTIFICALLY ENGINEERED LIES OF THE GLOBALISTS AND THEIR ULTIMATE GOAL OF ENSLAVING HUMANITY. Question:

Why did you edit the truth out of the audio?

We are the spear head of the liberty movement.

Satoshi Nakamoto

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Hi Satoshi,

I have no idea what you are talking about.

Like all new podcasts, we are still learning and at times mistakes are made.

Largely, in this instance, this can be directly attributed to the copious amount of alcohol consumed during the recording and editing period.

Ultimately this has resulted in a substandard listening experience which DCE would like to sincerely apologise for.

My personal apologies are also conveyed.

In the future may I suggest you contact your friendly neighbourhood DCE representative if you identify any issues.

Not only will this allow us to provide an enhanced service, it should allay your fears of any wrong doing on our part.

Alternatively you may contact your local representative who we would be happy to speak to on your behalf.

Thank you for your feedback.

I look forward to speaking with you again in the future.

xoxo Dirty Doctor #notadoctor


BN


Hi Doctor,

How do you get your good mate to accept that his is a BN when he is in denial?

Luke with a big dick

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Hi Luke,

Thanks for your email. Dealing with little BN friends is a constant struggle in this day and age, but here are some handy hints for letting people know that they are BN’s.

This may hurt their feelings, but if you’re worried about that then you are also a BN.

Firstly, get a handle on the English language, so you can convey a clear and concise point. Second, accept that you may be projecting you own inadequacies on the world, and look first inwards before you try and hurt other peoples feelings. Last, if all else fails, challenge the person to an arm wrestle or interpretive dance competition.

Hope this helps and you can ignite that flame again.

xoxo Dirty Doctor #notadoctor


Shitazzling


Hi Doctor,

Just wondering If you have any tips to dress up my number 2's with the hectic lifestyle I have at the moment? In the past, I've achieved a fairly attractive look and shine with glitter, however it can get quite tiring consuming the amount required. Looking for something easy and practical, that's both cosmetically pleasing but suitable for business travel.

Skiloglitter

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Hi Skiloglitter,

First off, congratulations on your previous success with glitter. A truly inspiring solution to a completely made up problem. With more men like yourself (I’m assuming this is a man for obvious reasons) the world most certainly would be a more interesting place.

To be honest, I don’t have much experience in this area. It sounds like you might be the expert however if practicality and timing is your concern I highly recommend purchasing a squatty potty. Not only will this save on clean up but reduces the risk of colon cancer (according to the cartoon unicorn at least). If that doesn't help try carrying around cocktail unbrellas...you know for emergencies.

xoxo Dirty Doctor #notadoctor


Rash


Hi Doctor,

I have this horrible rash on my gentleman bits, what can I do? 

LC CoolH

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Hi LC CoolH

A rash on the gentleman parts is never a joking matter and can be most awkward when trying to catch the eye of a young lady (or man in your case). I use a combination of Canesten and friction on most of my rashes. If that doesn’t get rid of them I’d go and see an actual doctor. I met a guy in a public toilet once who said he was a doctor but had run out of pages in his prescription book which really sucked. I still have his number though if you’d like it?

xoxo Dirty Doctor #notadoctor


Woman (wtf does this have to do with anything?)


Hi Doctor,

Long time listener, first time writer. I won a feature on Where's the Gold earlier and I always pick Peter Panner on a friend Todd's advice. Every time I do it get's a shitty 3 gold with one pleb wild. Do I change my strategy or stick at it? I fear it has failed to many times surely my time is coming. 

Ryan

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Hi Ryan,

Thanks for your question, it’s a good one! I have always been a big fan of Peter the Panner, but if you are still having trouble then maybe you could try Findo the dog? Not many people know this but he used to be a police dog and once met the Queen.

Once when I was at the pub on a Friday night there was a guy on the machine next to me, he picked the slutty mining lady and got herpes. Let that be a warning to you.

xoxo Dirty Doctor #notadoctor


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