Another great article we are super happy to share with you. We love it when ‘strong’ people open up and share their stories.
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About a year ago I posted this picture and shared about some emotions and experiences I was going through.
I had just come back from the gold coast after my first loss in my MMA career. Being in a bit of a slump after losing and not really happy with my performance probably didn’t help the way I was feeling but, here is the post broken down in “…”
“A week and a half ago I was 5.5kg lighter than I am now…OMG!!
Cutting weight for a fight can really mess your head up.
I have been feeling very negatively about my body and that has been impacting all aspects of my life, from how I am around people, to choices I have been making, to my mood, my relationship, motivation. If it’s a part of life it’s showing up!”
“I want to share this as I deal with people wanting to lose weight and better their bodies every day!
Mostly everyone is unhappy with where they are at but… what is the underlying issue, the root cause?
No amount of dieting and exercise is going to heal the lack of something or fear of something in your life. Here lies the holistic approach to weight loss/body transformation.”
I hear it from my fighting friends, friends that don’t compete, the clients that I work with all the time. They feel down about the way they look or WORSE what the number on the scale reads. I have seen clients over the years doing the “right” thing, they eat clean, they exercise, they sleep well etc.. all the fundamentals are on point. However, they still have trouble shifting the weight. This is when it is important to look at the mental and emotional aspects behind why they feel the way they do. I have experienced this phenomenon personally many times in many areas, you deal with the mental and emotional aspects and like magic, the physical changes happen.
“Now I know a lot of people will look at this photo and think but you are skinny, ripped, fit, beautiful etc.. And I appreciate that, but this all comes down to how I feel about myself! (also be aware of your thoughts right now, judging assessing and comparing)
So I have noticed a belief of not good enough, a fear of not being loved, not being accepted, appreciated, things along these lines have been in my space.”
When you take a pause and look behind the way you are feeling (an emotion), the way you are acting or reacting to life, you can start to unlock deeper reasons and meanings underneath the body and weight hate. For me, at the time I recognized that the way I was currently looking/weighing was bringing up fear around being left alone (abandoned, rejected). Not good enough’s plague us all in different ways.
“I have done A Lot of work and healing around self-love and self-worth in my life, but things come in layers. This shines a light for me on a deeper level of love, worth, approval and acceptance I need to give to myself.”
It all comes back to us. What we believe (even if it is subconscious) on the inside, will be reflected to us on the outside, whether this is through our physical body e.g: struggling with weight, dis-ease, or in our life in other ways e.g: toxic relationships, self-sabotaging habits, work, money flow. Our emotions and discomforts are shining a light for us. They shine a light on a belief that isn’t serving us, if we can see it we have the power to do something about it. I believe life is a journey into oneself and learning unconditionally love YOU. When we are not loving ourselves we fear we are unlovable, won’t fit in, be accepted or be enough.
“And look it’s extra hard these days there is a lot of societal pressure especially from social media on how we “should” look”
This takes me off track a little but when you aren’t feeling confident and centred within yourself, social media is a breeding ground for negative self-talk. (this is a topic I could rant about FOREVER but we will leave that for another time) If it’s making you feel crappy about yourself, get off it!!
“I’ve made sure I’ve given myself the time to feel those emotions around my body image but then to question and dig deeper find the root cause, the WHY. That is powerful!! So I’m giving love to every part of me that I might not like the look of.
If anyone that loves you and admires you purely for how you look, this is someone you don’t necessarily want in your life.
I care more about who I am not what I look like.”
Feeling your feels is important. Suppressing the emotions and “getting over it” and just “being positive” doesn’t allow you and your body to process potential old and current wounds. I always allow myself to clear the emotion, cry, scream, yell, write. If not you are resisting it, what you resist in life persists. Once I have allowed myself sufficient grieving and letting go time, that’s when I can think more clearly about what it is that is true. Which is we are all beautiful, lovable and more than enough!
You can do many things to “fix” your body, lose weight, tone up, spend $$ on some new boobs and yeah you may feel more confident but that underlying theme of not enough will creep it’s way back into your life one way or another.
So here are 7 things to do when you’re hating on your body:
Step 1: Get off Facebook and Instagram if you’re comparing yourself to fake photoshopped images (this is peoples highlight reel) Follow inspiring stuff!
Step 2: Don’t beat yourself up, but honour how you feel (cry, write, sing, dance yell)
Step 3: Breathe and ask yourself – What is underneath this? (not good enough’s) – Why is this upsetting me? (fear of not fitting in)
Step 4: See it as a fear and know that it is not the TRUTH.
Step 5: Look at your who you are, look past the physical, love the you on the inside if you can’t yet on the outside.
Step 6: Start creating a loving conversation with what you see on the outside – pick what you love about your body. If your brave pick what you don’t love about your body, hold that area and repeat: “I accept you, I love you.”
Step 7: Wake up every day with the intention to love yourself the best way you can today.
Loving your body and yourself is a practice and it takes time
follow or contact Kristy to learn how to fall more in love with yourself and your life